RYAN ALTMAN

🪞Conquering the Fear of Being Yourself

I want to share with you a dream I had last week.

First, a little context.

Prior to the workshop I hosted this weekend, I spent many hours preparing a presentation to use.

There were graphics, animations, charts–the whole lot.

I thought I was taking my workshops to the next level.

It was over 30 slides and had all the ideas I wanted to share laid out in what I thought was the perfect sequence.

Anyway, the night before my workshop I had an intense and vivd dream.

In the dream, I forgot to go to the workshop.

You know the feeling.

Like when you walk into class only to realize that there’s a big test you forgot to study for.

I remember seeing images of the people attending the workshop, and telling them that I would be there soon.

After wandering around for some time, I met a woman.

I don’t remember much about her, only that she was wearing a white robe.

The woman said she was going to heal me.

Then, she reached out and touched her hands on my body.

As soon as she did, vivid images flashed before my eyes and my body shook violently.

Some of the images were grotesque and scary.

One in particular, reminded me of the scene at the end of The Ring where the creepy little girl climbs out of the well.

After the images flashed, everything became still.

The woman said I was healed and I woke up.

When I woke up, I immediately knew that I shouldn’t use the presentation that I made for the workshop.

Using the presentation would be like me ‘not showing up.’

To depend on the presentation would be to forget myself, and to forget to ‘go’ to the workshop.

I intuitively understood all this from the dream and decided I was going to scrap the presentation, even though I had spent so much time and energy on it.

I realized I needed to trust myself, and that what makes a great workshop with me, or anyone, is sharing what I know, love and value with others.

This dream happened on the night before my workshop.

On the morning of, as it turns out, there was an issue with the venue I booked and we couldn’t get in.

Fortunately, my attendees were very understanding, and we were able to find a new space on the fly.

And you know what?

The new venue didn’t have a projector.

There was no way I would’ve been able to use the presentation anyway.

The dream foretold and fate decided that I needed to depend on my own knowledge and experience.

Despite having to shift venues and scrapping most of my plans, I’m really proud of how the workshop turned out.

I genuinely feel it was my best one yet.

Here’s some photos from it:

I share this ‘being yourself’ stuff all the time for a good reason.

We live it everyday–for better or worse.

With our blood, sweat and tears.

The journey of human life is a constant movement towards wholeness.

A part of us, the human part, will always be incomplete.

We want to hide from it, like I unconsciously tried to do behind my presentation.

Yet, when we fully internalize this and accept our incompleteness, we paradoxically start becoming whole.

We can drop out guard and be authentically ourselves.

We connect to the deeper reality beyond the mind that fragments and divides us.

What does this mean for you?

It means to trust yourself.

Don’t be afraid to fail.

Don’t fear who you are.

Don’t be afraid to go after what you think is right, or to fail doing it.

What we ultimately discover on our journey to wholeness, is that our vulnerability can be a pathway to invincibility.

Have you ever had a dream that influenced your decisions in real life? What’s something that holds you back from being authentically yourself? What’s one thing you can do to show up more for yourself today?

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